Take a Chance on Me

As I mentioned before, I am graduating DBT. It has been a tumultuous start to the year. I had two hospitalizations in February and one in May. There have been numerous med changes and countless calls to my therapist (yay, phone coaching). I've felt recently like my therapist has given up on me. As I move away from the hospitalization and into more stability I feel less like that. Let's check the facts. I started DBT in 2013. It usually lasts a year. It has been about a year and a half. I wasn't forced to graduate - I was asked nicely when I wanted to. Still, part of me is thinking, "shit, they're going to throw a fucking party when I'm gone." I've never been in a therapy program that ends. I can go back to the therapist that I saw before but I kind of like my current one and I feel like we do good work. It's just triggering sometimes. But it's like one of my therapists (who was a little nutty) correctly said, sometimes it's like a pregnant woman giving birth. You have to learn to push through the pain, not avoid it. So I guess as I wrap up, I need to use my time wisely, push through the pain, and not freak this therapist out like I did earlier this year. Hopefully the Saphris is working and I won't relapse for another year (or more!).